Hatred is a potent emotion. It is horrible when you’ve reserved it for others and terrible when you’ve reserved it for yourself. I know those clauses are synonymous, but let’s focus on the latter half of that sentence.
It’s a disease with the same causative and curative factor. Interesting, huh? This blog post explores the reasons and the means to clear your system of the debris of spite for yourself. And let me tell you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth: you can’t genuinely love another if you don’t love yourself.
Some of the reasons for self-loathing are:
- Lack of self-knowledge
Knowledge and understanding are interdependent. They walk hand in hand. Misunderstandings amongst people arise on account of lack of knowledge of the other’s reasons and needs. When it comes to one’s own self, it is as vital as oxygen that one should carry out a thorough self-analysis in order to deepen the insight of his/her capabilities, drawbacks etc., and thus obtain a vivid image of one’s state of affairs.
- Over-embellishing faults
Let’s face it, shall we? We’re all imperfectly perfect human beings who (as a matter of incontrovertible fact) learn much from success and much more from failure and mistakes. People sometimes see themselves mentally the way they would appear were they to look into a mirror with a busted glass. Faults don’t make you any less a human being. They should bring us closer to who we are as they show us what we need to repair in our lives. They should not be utilized as fuel for the fire of self-loathing.
- Envy of others
Ralph Waldo Emerson, in all his perspicacity, stated, “Envy is ignorance and imitation is suicide.”
People often view others as idyllic and as epitomes of perfection. They are so engrossed in the imprudence of admiration and imitation that they forget that their eyes are not x-ray machines. The meaning? They are not capable of seeing what’s beneath a pearly smile and dazzling attire. The amount of appreciation you have for yourself starts becoming inversely proportional to the amount of admiration you have for another.
Now that we’ve explored the territory of knotty reasons, let’s move on to the one with some solutions.
- Enhance your fortes and eliminate your faults
You don’t need to be a Chemistry geek to know that in an atom, for every proton (positive charge), there is an electron (negative charge). The purpose of this configuration is stability. So, there cannot be a person who is wholly and solely full of endowments or who is constantly overflowing with errors. Assess your positive abilities and augment them. Address your slipups and alleviate them as progressively as possible.
- Spend quality time with yourself
As I mentioned in one of my prior posts, you’re not a waste of your own time. A child who experiences emotional neglect by its parents undergoes an arduous stage following which, a conceptualization of the parents forms as people who are indifferent. Similarly, when you neglect yourself, it ought to summon the spirit of loneliness and emptiness. So, you can cultivate a healthy friendship with yourself and if this doesn’t sound zany, you could leave yourself a little love letter whenever you’re down in the dumps, because, who doesn’t like a little compliment/booster now and then?
- Don’t overestimate or underestimate yourself
Painting a fake picture of yourself is as stupid as trying to cover a freshly healing lesion in the skin with a tattoo. Pose not as someone who knows all things or who can do all things impeccably. Similarly, do not debase yourself as someone who is fit to only stand in the shadow of another. Do not brim with overconfidence because it is one of your truest faux amis. Exude a mannerism that is natural and not ostentatious.
It’s quite apparent that you don’t need a sickle to weed out hatred for yourself and plant the seed of love. Water with attention and you’ll see love for yourself blossoming sooner than you think.