Destroyer 

For what, I ask, do you waste yourself 

Raining on a beautiful canvas while it’s drying?

Decanting your acid into my spring waters? 

Destroying what you haven’t created?
My happiness, does it counteract yours?

Does breaking bridges gratify your appetite for destruction?

(But all you can hope to achieve is a non-calamitous dent.) 
I’m a leaning tower that defies 

The gravity of your acrimoniousness 

That persistently but futilely labors to 

Cause my fall, my breakage. 

But the integrity of my substance 

Exceeds the strength of your pull,

Keeping me from shattering,

Keeping you from triumphing. 
The hand that holds the knife is not

Guaranteed against being cut by its own blade. 

The arm that swings the hammer of destruction

Will itself debilitate, courtesy of its weight. 

Evil Eyes

With coal dust in your myopic eyes
You see warped, distorted images

Like reflections in carnival mirrors,

The surface of disturbed water,

Or the cave of a polished spoon.
Seeing with a visual apparatus 

Slick with a film of judgment 

Perhaps renders your discolored, 

Tinged view of my world and me

To yourself most sightly.  
But, how long will you bear to see nightshade where there actually bloom roses?

Serpents where there actually stand people?

Relieve yourself of that judgmental culture, your cataract, your coal dust.
Do yourself a favor: wash your eyes and see,

Behold the beauty that is,

Rather than contriving an ugliness that never was. 

Irrational Irony, Inexplicable Indifference & Inevitable Idiosyncrasy : Ingredients of Life

You’re in a crowd, but you’re alone. You explain, but that just makes things harder to understand than they initially were. You speak, but you can’t be heard, or you’re not listened to. When you’re silent, everyone hears. When you’re down, no one wants to help you up, but when you’re up, everyone wants to drag you down. They tell you to hold on when you’re trying to let go. They tell you to let go when you’re trying to hold on. You’re dying while you’re living, and living while you’re dying.

Life is pervaded by the essence of irrational irony.

You talk to a person present in the flesh and you’re ignored. You talk to your “wall” on a social media platform and people who aren’t well-enough acquainted with you connect the dots of your untold emotions. You are forced to wear a smile that conceals the scars lest someone should see them and question your sanity or gloat over your probable insanity. You are forced to line your eyes with kohl to camouflage the deed all the midnight tears have done, because people seem to notice, but won’t seem to understand. You love someone, but your love to them is no more than the earth they trample underfoot.

Life is garnished with the oil of inexplicable indifference.

You are told by people that you will be understood, but ultimately, you end up being either not understood or misunderstood. You are told to stay put by someone who persistently tries to push you off balance when you’re like a feather amidst an air current. You choose your path and traverse it only to realize you’ve been treading the wrong way all this while. You gain something only to realize it won’t last forever, but you lose something and realize that it will be lost forever, like a drop in a boundless ocean.

Life is sprinkled with a dash of inevitable idiosyncrasy.

But life has to go on through it all, doesn’t it? And it does…

You know you’re not losing life’s battle, you’re just fighting your way up from the bottom.

Life is crowned with the indomitable spirit that surmounts the issues so insurmountable.

A Singleton’s Relationship Advice

For relationship advice, many have asked and I have given, but there are some lovestruck ladies who have never offered a penny for my thoughts. Regardless, I’ll give them my thoughts sans counting the cost.

To Her:

Remember the reason he fell in love with you. Give him the same reason and more to fall in love with you over and over again, every single day. If there’s something on your mind, let him hear it from you. If there’s something from your heart that you have to say, make sure it reaches his. You’ll know if heaven ordained him for you if he is that proverbial someone who can understand the sorrow behind your smile and the hurt behind your flawless exterior. Let him know how much you love him, and more importantly why. Remember that although the man, by societal stereotypes is the stronger sex, also has his moments of weakness and insecurity. You might be delicate, but be strong enough for him to lean on when he needs you. Call to mind that you should be as emotionally invested in him as he is in you. You should know he is perfect if he understands your sadness more than your happiness and your tears more than your smile. If he’s the one for you, the inferno of jealousy or insecurity will not consume you if he talks to other girls because you’ll know that his heart is yours and yours alone.

To Him:

Know that you should protect her chastity, not only protect and shield her from your arch rivals. Don’t try to prove to her why other men are unworthy of her. Rather, prove to her why you alone are worthy of her. Treat her with the delicacy her physical structure conveys. Let her know the best and the worst of you to evaluate her true feelings towards you. Never soil the trust she has in you or cause her to look elsewhere to be solaced. Don’t doubt her or put forth a query if she talks to or smiles at other men, because you’ll notice that the sparkle in her eye and the radiance in her cheeks comes into play only when she looks at you. Once you know that you are ready to build a life with her and build your life around her, reassure her that you are invested in her for the long term. Be the rock she has that can never be shaken, the one who lifts her off the ground and from her depressions. Never be tentative to show her the softer, stripped down side of yourself, the dark side every human being has.

And in the end, don’t use, don’t abuse and don’t misuse. Ensure that your hearts are connected as tightly as your fingers are intertwined. While on earth, don’t give each other hell, but catch a glimpse of heaven every single time you look into each other’s eyes.

A Drop of Strength in an Ocean of Weakness

I left myself wide open again and now I’m in a million pieces, but does that make a difference? After all, I wasn’t even whole to start with. Sometimes I feel I keep my heart in all the wrong places.

I spill all my contents to people and finally I’m left empty. I then run back to them to have them fill me again. I am then filled, but only with hurt the weight of lead.

In the face of all these emotional calamities, I have indeed lamented, cried and complained, but I have also learned that love and strength are tested and refined in situations as these.

I could never boast of strength if I hadn’t any weaknesses to overcome and I could not fortify my love had I not met with insult and coldness from the people that I held dear.

It does take something to bare your heart and mind to someone, but I did that anyway. Sometimes I was consoled, sometimes I returned more out of shape than I was to begin with.

Those moments I might have cursed, but to be honest, I was blessed with them, for in my weaknesses, I discovered my strengths, so I wouldn’t trade those happenings for anything under the sun. All those moments brought me closer to myself and to the people I cherish.

It’s like being the sole survivor of a tempest- battered and shattered, but still a survivor with a story worth telling.

If I didn’t know I was weak, I could never have known I was strong.

So, to everyone who has ever broken me, thank you. You taught me to repair myself and to give my love and my feelings a voice. So, feel satisfied for every stone you’ve hurled at me. Not one went in vain.

Wearing Your Heart on Your Sleeve

We are prickly about disclosing to people how many years we have been living and breathing for, how much dough is doubled and stashed up in our wallets every month and what number the weighing scale shows us, but, are things like these really significant when there are issues about us out in the open that were better repressed within us?

Take for instance your fears and inhibitions, the reticent desires of your heart, the humiliation you were subject to and much more.

When someone asks you what’s on your mind, answer him with much caution- the way you would had he asked you how much is in your purse. No, I’m not suggesting giving him the cold-shoulder. I’m just recommending that you weigh on the scale of discernment what you tell him, how you tell him and how much.

Our complexities are not taken very kindly in this eon where understanding is as rare as freshwater and genuine care is scarcer than water in a desert. When our weak points are known and made manifest, then comes the opportune moment for the carnivore of exploitation to lunge for its unsuspecting prey that is not rendered dead, but is rather gravely injured at heart.

The problem is that in our moments of crisis, we are willing to pour out our hearts and minds to anyone who has ears to listen, regardless of whether their concern is genuine or as fake as artificial flowers. It’s something like waking up with a hangover after being punch-drunk and regretting in leisure everything said and done and being tremulous over the repercussions.

Hereinafter, be wary of wearing your heart on your sleeve. Guard your inmost thoughts like diamonds in the safe of your head and ensure that there’s only limited access. The door of one’s mind and heart are sometimes better kept shut than open.

Doing Away with the Debris of Self-Loathing

Hatred is a potent emotion. It is horrible when you’ve reserved it for others and terrible when you’ve reserved it for yourself. I know those clauses are synonymous, but let’s focus on the latter half of that sentence.

Self-loathing.

It’s a disease with the same causative and curative factor. Interesting, huh? This blog post explores the reasons and the means to clear your system of the debris of spite for yourself. And let me tell you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth: you can’t genuinely love another if you don’t love yourself.

Some of the reasons for self-loathing are:

  • Lack of self-knowledge

Knowledge and understanding are interdependent. They walk hand in hand. Misunderstandings amongst people arise on account of lack of knowledge of the other’s reasons and needs. When it comes to one’s own self, it is as vital as oxygen that one should carry out a thorough self-analysis in order to deepen the insight of his/her capabilities, drawbacks etc., and thus obtain a vivid image of one’s state of affairs.

  • Over-embellishing faults

Let’s face it, shall we? We’re all imperfectly perfect human beings who (as a matter of incontrovertible fact) learn much from success and much more from failure and mistakes. People sometimes see themselves mentally the way they would appear were they to look into a mirror with a busted glass. Faults don’t make you any less a human being. They should bring us closer to who we are as they show us what we need to repair in our lives. They should not be utilized as fuel for the fire of self-loathing.

  • Envy of others

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in all his perspicacity, stated, “Envy is ignorance and imitation is suicide.”

People often view others as idyllic and as epitomes of perfection. They are so engrossed in the imprudence of admiration and imitation that they forget that their eyes are not x-ray machines. The meaning? They are not capable of seeing what’s beneath a pearly smile and dazzling attire. The amount of appreciation you have for yourself starts becoming inversely proportional to the amount of admiration you have for another.

Now that we’ve explored the territory of knotty reasons, let’s move on to the one with some solutions.

  • Enhance your fortes and eliminate your faults

You don’t need to be a Chemistry geek to know that in an atom, for every proton (positive charge), there is an electron (negative charge). The purpose of this configuration is stability. So, there cannot be a person who is wholly and solely full of endowments or who is constantly overflowing with errors. Assess your positive abilities and augment them. Address your slipups and alleviate them as progressively as possible.

  • Spend quality time with yourself

As I mentioned in one of my prior posts, you’re not a waste of your own time. A child who experiences emotional neglect by its parents undergoes an arduous stage following which, a conceptualization of the parents forms as people who are indifferent. Similarly, when you neglect yourself, it ought to summon the spirit of loneliness and emptiness. So, you can cultivate a healthy friendship with yourself and if this doesn’t sound zany, you could leave yourself a little love letter whenever you’re down in the dumps, because, who doesn’t like a little compliment/booster now and then?

  • Don’t overestimate or underestimate yourself

Painting a fake picture of yourself is as stupid as trying to cover a freshly healing lesion in the skin with a tattoo. Pose not as someone who knows all things or who can do all things impeccably. Similarly, do not debase yourself as someone who is fit to only stand in the shadow of another. Do not brim with overconfidence because it is one of your truest faux amis. Exude a mannerism that is natural and not ostentatious.

It’s quite apparent that you don’t need a sickle to weed out hatred for yourself and plant the seed of love. Water with attention and you’ll see love for yourself blossoming sooner than you think.