There is that one feeling that cuts deeper than a razor-sharp scalpel- hurt. Hurt is a consequence of love- love that you gave but never received in the way you hoped to. There are ways of coping with the pain inflicted by love. These are my self-discovered therapeutic remedies to refrain from imploding or exploding, or in extreme cases, both…
- Let your mouth speak for your heart
If talking to someone aids you to express your love, it will also serve you well to express your hurt. No matter how deranged this may sound, talking to yourself or an inanimate object is also remedial. But if you’re bent on speaking to a mortal in the flesh, select that person with as much care and caution you would reinforce while selecting your wedding gown. Never seek sympathy, rather, seek counsel, warmth and understanding.
- Let your eyes water and be your own comforter
Crying is a means of purging oneself of the debris of accumulated hurt. Doing it in solitude is most preferential to me because when I’m hurt, I feel like I am my own comforter and that my own heart understands the reason behind my tears better than anyone else would. Somewhere I read that “clouds burst when they can’t withhold their contents any longer, and so it is with us.”
- Allow time to be your doctor
Just like a physical wound requires time and treatment to heal, so does an emotional one. Never pick at a scar that has closed after much ado. But remember that time doesn’t relieve you of the weight you are bearing. It just accustoms you to carrying it.
Once Doctor Time has accomplished his job, you will be in the phase of accepting your altered state of emotional affairs. Never expect to be skyrocketed to Planet Euphoria in no time. Recovering from the sting of heartbreak is equable with recovering from a malady. Remember that your heart might still be fragile and vulnerable, so do not dive headfirst (or heart-first without using your head) into the pool of pleasure because you aren’t going to know whether it will suck you in and spit you out in a mortifying condition or cause you to hit the solid bottom. Accept what has been and hope in what is yet to be.
Never let the past remind you that you were weak and broken. Rather, let it be a reminder that you fought that interior battle and have emerged triumphantly. The past is irreversible and unchangeable, so leave it be. Let the past follow you, but let the present live in you as you live in it, and let the future lead you. Move ahead and move on. Hurt can last only as long as you allow it to.
When I grumble about…..
- The food under the roof of my mouth not being as delectable as I expected it to be, I think of someone rummaging through trash cans to find a few morsels.
- Someone hurling a random insult at me, I think of a person who is insulted physically and mentally and who can give no vent to her feelings.
- The house I live in being like a warzone, I remind myself of the myriad soldiers braving the odds and dying in the literal warzone and the helpless victims of a real war.
- Academic subjects being unfeasible for me to fathom, I regard someone for whom the prospect of having an education will remain the figment of a dream.
- Not being able to withstand a mild bout of sickness, I feel grateful that I’m not at death’s mercy.
- The people in my life, I consider people who are jettisoned- who have no one and nothing to love or to live for.
- Friends whose antics I can’t digest, I think of people who long for companionship or of individuals who have been backstabbed by their faux amis.
- Exams being too complicated to study for, I remember that there are people who are still illiterate out there who would grab the opportunity to see the insides of a school and hold a pen in their hands.
- Traffic being too congested on a street, I number myself amongst the fortunate lot who haven’t been hit by a truck.
- Noisy people and situations, I think much later that there are people who don’t hear the music and the cacophony of the world because sadly, they can’t.
- Stagnant water on the road getting my jeans or my footwear all mucky, I bring to mind that there are human beings who have no choice but to settle on that water for drinking.
- The smell of garbage bothering my nostrils, I remind myself that there are scavengers gathering it without doing so much as shielding their noses.
- The weather being frigid or torrid, I count myself lucky to be sheltered from the sun and the rain unlike the unknown many who have to scurry helter-skelter in the hopes of finding shelter.
- Not being appreciated enough, I recall that there are people being degraded, depreciated, derided and defiled.
- Not being beautiful enough, I thank the heavens that my senses and my physical form are still intact- free from disfiguration and indelible scars.
I could enumerate many more examples like these, but from the aforementioned matter of this article, maybe I have given myself and my readers a little gist (or a big one) on what it means to count one’s blessings, because often enough, one tends to lament one’s shortcomings while pushing past the point of oblivion the multifarious bounties that have generously been bestowed on us.