“I’m over my head and there’s no way out. It’s like I’m underwater trying not to drown.” — Nikki Flores in ‘Underwater’
Have you ever felt that way at any point in your life? At one moment you felt as light as a feather that you could even walk on the surface of the blue, but all too suddenly, you just felt heavier and noticed that you were sinking with no way out. You don’t want to die, but you don’t know how to evade death from happening.
Maybe you’re suffocating, your lungs are in agony, your limbs are flailing helplessly, and the weight of your heavy heart keeps acting in your disfavor. It’s like wanting to live but not being able to stay alive.
But maybe there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Even someone who looks too big for even the weighing scale to affix a number in kilos to is capable of floating.
Resurfacing is a great deal harder than floating, but it isn’t unfeasible. There comes a time when you’re just holding on by a flimsy thread that can only last for so long before unraveling and coming apart and that is the moment of truth wherein you decide to go down silently or to rise to the surface fighting even when you’re being tested.
To live or to die. That is the choice to be made in a situation as critical as the one at hand.
When you let go of those weighty feelings that are attached to you like a ball and chain, they will sink to the bottom of the ocean where they belong and you can propel yourself upward where you see the dancing reflection of the sun on the surface.
You feel drained. You feel hazy. You feel relieved.
The odds will perpetually try to suck us in and suck the life out of us, but to drown in them or to break free of their iron grip and stronger-than-gravity pull is a choice you have to make. It’s worth the fight to stay alive after all, isn’t it?